Edging the Discourse
I'm over here stroking my dick I got lotion on my dick right now. I'm just stroking my shit I'm horny as fuck man I'm a freak man like for real.
General News
I started drafting this newsletter the very second I laid eyes on this incredible piece of news that I am not surprised is news. “I don’t think people should be taking medical advice from me,” said the fucking Secretary of Health and Human Services. That’s it, y’all! That’s all the news that I’m covering for this week, I’ll see you next week! Gotta throw this in the mix. Hilarious that the Dems thot he had a chance for the 2028 race. Even the 2024 race was pretty goofy and unserious. Speaking of Dems, Based Billionaire Daddy Pritzker is really doing the Lord’s work.
Chicago Pride is about to be so crazy. Sign on to support Just Cause for Eviction Ordinance, CHI! City Hall is taking public comment on it early on Wednesday. You can get involved with the Chicago Housing Justice Coalition as well. Abolitionists of Chicago, GET INVOLVED with the Public Health & Safety Coalition. And, of course, “Every morning I wake up and…”*punch wall* [groan] *weep into hands* !!!
DALLAS STARS ROUND 2 LFG !!! Our boys in green will be facing the Edmonton Oilers in Round 2 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs Western Conference. If they pull through round 2, they’ll be in the running for the MF STANLEY CUP, which literally hasn’t happened since…last year lol. Lost to the Oilers, evidently. I love a second chance, don’t you? The last time they won the Stanley Cup Championship was in 1999. Talk about a tough 25 years. Before I get ahead of myself, however, let’s turn to the Eastern Conference. The Toronto Maple Leafs and Florida Panthers have really been neck and neck this round, with Florida moving onto Round 2. Florida won last year’s championship, so I’m not excited about this news. Damn…can you guess the last time that Toronto won the Stanley Cup? If you guessed 1967, you’d be correct! Even more NHL trivia for you: the last time a Canadian team won the Stanley Cup was in 1993; Montreal took it home. I don’t think Canada has bad teams, I think that the odds are far too stacked against them. Does Florida need two teams? Does New York? Why does California have like 3 teams? Utah and Las Vegas got teams of all places, yet the entire country of Canada has SEVEN teams in total? Idk seems a little unfair to me, especially when the people of Canada literally invented the damn Stanley Cup championship. Probably says something about American Capitalism….yeah…


Personal News



The weather may have been bad, but the drivers? Arguably worse! On Friday night, I came home to see that this tree had fallen on my street. Extremely glad that I don’t own a car. I saw someone and asked if it had been reported, which they said that they had. Where were the cops? Idk probably stealing overtime pay or something. While nobody was present to help direct traffic, I watched MULTIPLE cars drive RIGHT UP to the tree as if it’d just fuckin’ MOVE? Like ??? Then the same thing happened this morning when I took my dog out. I was overcome with a sense of frustration that I channeled into civic duty. And while I was out there directing traffic for free, one of my neighbors told me that someone literally drove through the tree last night (I suppose in that gap between the large branches). Every day, I want to scream at drivers. Fucking IDIOTS.
Finally felt compelled to start packing yesterday. Since when did I get so much shit? “I’m a collector,” deranged ass sentence. Collecting books and records is all fun and games until you gotta move. Don’t ask me about it.
New Volbeat coming out ahead of their next album, Nation of Language might be doing the same, same with Maruja, and Spotify recommended this absolute gem to me and I think I’ll develop a new obsession with this artist fairly soon. A truly incredible voice. Anything else? No?
Poetry
I’m going to be so real with y’all: I am too tired to care about poetry right now. I’m stressed about finding an apartment, I have to be out on May 31, I’m trying not to spend too much money while I sign a new lease and also do what I can to make my unit presentable for the next tenant (i.e. finding a cheap and easy way to fix the cheap fucking blinds that break anytime you use them, patching over the small holes, cleaning and dusting, and vacuuming, the works). And the packing I gotta do…fuck.
While this poem comes to you in a time of haste, do not allow that to cloud your judgement of the poem. I literally think about it so often. I remember finding this book in 2019 on the shelves of my favorite bookstore in the world, Recycled Books in Denton, Texas. I picked it up because I thought that it looked interesting and it still is! “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” dumb fuckin’ idea. Anyway, The Same-Different was written by Hannah Sanghee Park and published in 2015 by Louisiana State University Press. Park is a Los Angeles based poet doing idk what. Making movies, maybe? Obscurity really isn’t all that bad, I’m starting to believe. If you’re able to, I recommend reading this poem out loud. Have fun with it.




